Like so many things, there must always be a set of rules that will allow potential clients to guarantee a positive Santa Claus experience, and obviously your humble Elf Without Jingles is no exception to that truth. So here are my rules for a winning gig with Santa’s New York City Representative! (Sorry about a lot of this being overly legalese; most of you know how it is, I’m sure.)

The Client (that’s you) shall pay the seller of goods (that’s me) immediately upon arrival. Once funds are secured by the seller (U.S. funds only), the seller will proceed with the intended performance. Afterwards, and only if the client agrees, the seller will depart from the venue, using either public transportation and/or via taxi (with funds for the latter to be paid by the client).

Translated into plain, simple English, the deal is: the client pays me in U.S. funds when I show up at the event and/or party; I’ll only stay at the said event and/or party if the client so chooses (whether you need me for 2 1/2 hours or an entire day, I’m flexible); and when I’m done, and when it’s time for me to leave, I’ll either depart, using public transportation or a taxi. If it’s a taxi, the client will need to pay for that as well.

And one other thing: Please, no ‘wild goose chase situations’! One thing I’ve learned during my many journeys is, you can’t just go off on a mad dash to find one Santa gig. If you do, chances are, you’ll either wind up getting lost or not be able to contact the person that hired you. That’s why I prefer to set up a lot of my appearances in person, unless otherwise unable to do so by way of phone, e-mail, etc.

Well, again, sorry about the legalese, folks, but it was important to me that you learn about what to do if you’d like to hire me for a gig! To explore these guidelines in further detail, go to !